Once upon a time, during my upper secondary school-daze, I was looking for work. I quickly found it, in a small company where I was to sell ergonomic products by phone. I am not a sales-person in the least. I mean, I didn't know that before I tried, but if you ask me, untrained youths phoning farmers to get them to buy specialised equipment to relieve stress and pain in wrists for 200-500USD is asking a tad too much. That's what I did at this company.

The owner was in a league of his own. Constantly dodging having to fess up to workers' missed paychecks, customers complaining and little things like getting away with theft, he was not much loved during my stay. The whole deal was a scam. I mean, some of the products I was "selling" (as I think I actually sold off one or a maximum of two products during my career as a salesperson) were really good, while some were pure hoaxes. For instance, the owner proudly explained that the special monitor-cleaning polish was nothing more than specially packaged, ordinary household cleaning liquid. This was sold at 10 times its value.

The owner actually fooled me into working for his company for two weeks for free. As I was fresh out on the open market, I didn't read the contract as thoroughly as I should have. He did although promise me he'd informed of all "essential details" in the contract, so that added salt to the whole ordeal afterwards. The thing was, if you didn't sell over 8000SKR (appx. 1000USD) in two weeks, you were outta there. I knew I would fail at this already into my second week, but what I didn't know was that if one didn't sell for 8000SKR in two weeks, you also automatically lost your hourly wages as well, meaning you left the place with nothing. The best part was that customers were allowed to try the products for a month, which meant that even if you did manage to flog products off to customers, you could only get hired at the company if the customers actually paid for the product during your two-week stay. How convenient. Smelling a rat there, I asked the manager about this, who told me "of course, you'll get any money that's coming to you if the products are sold". Of course.

Today a person from this company rang me at work, or rather, rang our emergency telephone number that only our users are allowed to call, to ask questions or report anything regarding IT. The following conversation took place, and I've substituted the real name of the company with a suitable alias (mind you, this is only to protect my current employer from me getting into a slander case):

Niklas: The IT department, you are speaking with Niklas. Linda: Hello, my name is Linda and I'm calling from Nasty Company, Ltd! N: Eh, hello. L: We now have an upgraded RollerMouse on offer. [she says this in a I'm-your-friend-and-I've-just-married-somebody-and-couldn't-wait-to-ring-you-about-this-to-break-the-great-news-voice] N: [silent] L: It's a very new model, and I would like to send a copy to you straightaway, to-- N: Pardon me, but are you trying to sell me something? L: All our products are shipped without any costs whatsoever, and-- N: I'm very sorry, but you have failed to answer my question. Are you trying to sell me something? L: I wonder if you know about our-- N: I'm sorry to interrupt you yet again, but I know of Nasty Company, Ltd, I have worked there before, and I will not have anything to do with the company, the owner or you again. [approximately two very silent seconds pass] L: [now in a quite agitated and snarky voice] Niklas, I don't know what you have against our company or our owner, but you don't need to get snotty with me. N: [using years of experience to sound calm while really wishing I could just tell this person to stop what she's doing and get a solid work with an employer who has been using employees en masse, yet realising this would not happen right now] Linda, I am not "snotty". You failed to answer my question two times, and hence, I desired to end the conversation in a way which you probably would understand. L: [even more agitated] Well, you're being snotty and you shouldn't behave like that to me. I haven't done you anything. N: I haven't done you anything more than you've done to me; you consciously avoided answering my question two times in a row, which I think should break any line of common courtesy, when speaking with a potential customer. Hence, I desired to end your attack. L: We have several very satisfied customers at your work-place I might add, and they haven't complained. N: I hope you are aware you're dodging the subject entirely. Besides, I've had to help a Nasty Company, Ltd customer at our work-place, who couldn't be helped by your helpdesk. L: You shouldn't be so snotty to people. N: While we are at the point of giving each-other friendly advice, you should really not speak with potential customers as if you're speaking with your little sister who has just stolen the most treasured item in your life, which would be a q-tip. [I have no idea what I meant by that other than trying to insult her] L: [very chilly] Have a nice day. N: Of course, the same to you.

Here, we hung up. At first I felt adrenaline rushing through me followed by a slight sense of serenity. I didn't feel as if I'd gotten even - I feel that way when I direct users to deal with serious ergonomics companies instead of this one - I felt as if that company had won again. And yeah, that service in Sweden still generally sucks.