I slept really light last night, but I dreamt heavily. Here's what went down.

I dreamt I left my bed and had to go to the computer; a force literally, slowly dragged me towards it. Lotta was sitting there, with MS Word open on the screen. She turned her head and gave me her usual look, saying "I loathe you" or "I'm indifferent to you" ((I know: one doesn't necessarily exclude the other.)), but quickly whisked her head to the screen and put her two front paws onto the keyboard.

Thinking back to that, I realise her front paws would have to be really long to be able to reach the keyboard, but this is a dream; it's like thinking Spencer Pratt is sane - impossible without being brainwashed like his wife heavy drugs. Back to the script.

She reached the keys and typed "Feed me" in Swedish. I went numb. I felt my jaw drop, for real, and I told her "You...can communicate." She meowed. I felt like an idiot. "Feed me chicken, real chicken, beef", she wrote. Turned her head to me, and meowed.

"What do you want?" I said. "I mean, you can have anything now. You can be a movie-star, or...well, anything. What do you want?" Yet again, head towards the monitor, typing.

"What I DON'T want is this:" and she started writing the foods she didn't want. "And I like to be picked up."

What? She's never liked anybody to lift her, no matter what. I said this in disbelief, and of course she typed away.

"It depends on how you lift. First, I stand on my hind legs. Then, you have to put one hand forward, place it between my front and hind quarters and hold the fingers of your hand together. Then I place my front paws in your hand. Then, you hold your other hand in front of my hind legs. I hop on to you. This is how I want to be lifted."

She actually typed quickly. I didn't know what to do. She turned her head towards me and I said "OK, I will, I promise" and I woke up.