Niklas: Hello, IT-department, Niklas speaking. User: Hello! I'm quite new at this...computer thing, so I'm wondering...what's my code? N: Oh, do you mean your network password, i.e. the password you enter to log into the network, or are you already logged in? U: Eh...I'm no good at this. Wait, you'll speak with somebody else.

Five seconds and some muffled sounds later:

User 2: Hi. N: Hello, this is Niklas from IT. I asked your colleague whether she had-- U2: Sorry, but in order for me to hear you, you must speak very clearly.

I hereby started using my very clearest voice, normally reserved for Lords and Popes.

N: Alright, I'll do my best! U2: Thank you. N: Your colleague said she wanted a code; I wonder, does she mean that she wants a password to be able to log into the computer? U2: I can't hear you.

I start speaking even clearer, and repeat myself.

U2: I don't know these things! Here, speak with her yourself! N: ... U1: Hello! What surmised? N: Well, nothing really, so I'd like to remote control your computer, if I may, in order to diagnose this problem. U1: Sure!

I took control of the user's computer, and saw that nobody had logged in yet. Having followed standard procedure to give the user a new password, it was time for said user to pick a new one for herself.

U1: User 2, are you at the keyboard? U2: What? U1: I said-- Hold on, I'll just turn around and a have a look myself! Oh yes, she's there, ha. N: ...I see; the problem is that you have to type in your own future password, because-- U1: But no, see, I'm not at the computer and therefore it's impossible for me to type the password! N: I understand, but all you have to do now is type the new password you want, click in the text-field below, type the same password (as above) and then click OK. Do you understand me? U1: ...yes. N: Good, now do that, and I'll wait here.

I hear the user place the phone on some surface, muffled voices and then appx. 25 asterisks pop up in the first password field. More muffled voices. Approximately fifteen seconds later some skittish steps are taken towards the phone.

U1: Hello? N: Yes, hello. U1: Umm, there are a lot of...blobs in the first field. N: Yes, every asterisk, or blob, as you refer to them, symbolises a character. U1: But I didn't write that many! N: I actually think you did-- U1: Dear me!

I suddenly felt I was speaking with one of David Walliams' characters off "Little Britain".

N: Oh, don't be alarmed, just re-enter the password you desire, and then re-type the password in the text-field below. When you're done, click OK and you'll be logged into the network. U1: OK, I think I pressed the keys too long. N: No worries.

More voices. A few steps. Nothing's done at the other side. I refresh my remote control-viewer to make sure something's happening, yet nothing is. More voices. Steps come at the phone.

U1: Hello? N: Yes, hello. U1: So, should I be typing? N: ...yes, yes, you should type a new password in the first text-field, repeat that password in the field below and then click OK. U1: Oh, uh. Yes!

The user then places the phone somewhere, scuttles to the computer and types two password-fields that contain the same number of characters. The user scuttles back to the phone.

U1: I did it! I think. N: Very good! Now click OK to-- U1: Right.

The user goes back, clicks OK, is logged in, and picks up the phone again.

U1: Yes, yes, yes! I did it! N: Great! You're now logging in. U1: Well, I'm new at this, so I'll probably call again later, bye! N: You're welcome. Good-bye!

Britain, Britain, Britain...