me: Hi, I would like to know what "Exception" really means in this case as I called you yesterday, and you promised me I'd get my package today. UPS: Yeah, well, we've had a lot of packages to deliver today.

Hello? Is this the fucking Brain Trust? Here's a question for you: when does UPS not have a lot of packages to deliver?

me: Well...yes, but I was promised to get the package today. Will I get it today? UPS: We've had 17 extra cars ordered in today just to deliver more packages.

Had I called a politician by mistake?

me: So...will I get my package today? UPS: We're working as fast as we can, but...

Insert ten-second pause here.

me: Hello? UPS: You will get your package tomorrow. me: What! So, I won't get it today, I get that, but...can you guarantee that I will get it tomorrow? UPS: You will get it tomorrow. me: Great. Can you please call me if another unforeseen event occurs or something like that? I've tried-- UPS: You can register for text messages to be sent to your mobile phone if you need that. me: I was about to say that I've registered for that twice already, but it did and does not work; I haven't received anything at all. Can you please call me if anything happens tomorrow that prevents me from getting my package on time?

Insert twenty-second pause here.

me: Hello? UPS: No. me: Sorry, you can't guarantee that, or what? UPS: No.

Apparently, what is the word at UPS. Idiots.

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