Those f&%!iNg b!7z3s.

Not even a single "sorry". Not a "thank you" even, when I first paid for my new head-phones in cash. Yeah, first paid. I should have known better.

So what's your problem, young 'un? I hear you ask. Well, I'll tell.

A few days ago I went in search for new head-phones. I found them, too, but before I fully decided while listening to them, they crackled and buzzed. I told the clerk who was serving me what was up with that, so he excused himself and swapped the cable between the headphones and my phone. Bingo, all's well. I bought the head-phones!

What Reference Audio ((On Götgatan in Stockholm.)) utterly failed to mention was that I had to pony up 30 American dollars for another cable, while keeping the accompanying cable that do me no good, as the set that was working wasn't included with the package; they didn't work with my phone. Not that Reference Audio would tell me so. Oh, no. They did, however, quickly inform me that my purchase could not be returned in any way.

And not a single "sorry, our bad", "thanks for buying our stuff", or the like. I had to gripe my way through a smiling clerk's customer's-always-an-idiot way of wheeling. What trite gyp.

Oh, the day after another clerk told me he'd call me - on my request, not his - in the AM with news on when I'd receive the cables; he didn't. I called them early PM and spoke with a person who promised me the new cable would be in on Monday. Yeay.

At 18:30 in the evening, I was called by the person who promised to call me in the AM that morning. Called me to say what, you wonder? To tell me that Monster, the company that make the cable, are maybe not going to be making them in the future, and couldn't tell me when/if said cables would arrive, with an air of "Well, this happens. By the way, I'm glad I'm not you" about it all. Beautiful.

So, I've been sold cables by an incompetent salesperson, rendering my expensive, new head-phones, which provided the extra security, I was told, to purchase a new cable if the existing one would ever break, and suddenly that option was also out the window.

This, people, is why dealing with Reference Audio is a myriad. A myriad of impossibilities. There are more moments of insanity in my dealing with them than there are commas in this post.

The morning after, I called the clerk who left the message on my voice-mail, told him that I was now left with a completely non-working, expensive piece of equipment and told him that I would simply either accept the cable I'd tried the head-phones with at first, or my money back.

"Noo, just come into the shop and we'll work something out," he said.

Him saying that made imagery similar to what Cartman in "South Park" saw when a drama-teacher told him to close his eyes and report what he saw: bombs going off, people being assassinated, destruction, Reference Audio. Yes, that is now an adjective. If you ever hear me saying something's Reference Audio, just back away from it.

So I went. And I got the cable. The working one. After so much hassle for just one little cable. And again - not a final word telling me they were wrong, that they apologised in the least, or anything like it.

Never, ever, ever have anything to do with a company that uses guile first and foremost.

I can handle the fact that Monster has - if they have, which I say as Reference Audio has told me far more lies than truths - stopped manufacturing the cable I need, and I know this is not the fault of Reference Audio. But they could have handled it so much better.

Service is not about just selling product. Good service, which should be the basis for all service, is treated like dirt by them. Non grata.

If this company were operating in an environment where service were actually measured and appreciated, and not expected to be about as much use as Speidi in the jungle, they'd be out of business quite soon. But that won't happen in a while. They're seasoned, like a lot of other confidence-men.

Stay away from them.