The first part of the Swedish insanity that is referred to as "Melodifestivalen" took place on Saturday. In English, the name of said debacle is translated as "the melody festival", a translation which is, sadly, funnier than the hosts.

Usually a little amateurish - which can often be its forté - and bad comedy-wise, this year was no exception ((In all fairness, the notable exception being the time when Kristian Luuk and Björn Gustafsson ruled; there's even a Facebook group demanding their return.)). The first of five weekly competitions leading up to picking the artist that will represent Sweden in the Eurovision Song Contest 2011 took place on Saturday: a few veterans, a bunch of newbies and apart from the refreshing bit being that the new singers fared quite well and the old were shelved, it was a bit to and fro. One band actually played their instruments live, being the first in 11 years in the competition to do so. The so-called comedic relief would only have registered had I been shot in the face during it.

I've no idea who mixed the sound for the competition, but it could have been a handful of apes. The first couple of songs sounded fine, but what happened afterwards? Treble ruled and the mid-register just vanished. On-stage, some instruments appeared to be played but were barely audible; I know almost all of it, including the singing, was pre-recorded but that makes the mixing even less excusable.

Quick, lads! How many people will buy Danny's song?

Swingfly rapped himself into one of the two top spots, instantly ensuring him a place in the final competition. Hip-hop in Melodifestivalen usually is about as much fun as watching Finland and Germany at the Eurovision Song Contest, i.e. you'd rather extinguish a fireplace using only your face. This time the rapping was fair, with Christoffer from Swedish TV-show "Idol" backing Swingfly with a crisp chorus. Them and their drum.

Isn't it weird how contestants on Swedish Idol often end up in Melodifestivalen? The recycling process is very streamlined: if you've won, you record an album of other people's songs for a week, then tour with the losing roster of "Idols", you then try to tour yourself, you end up in a game-show and then onto Melodifestivalen, where you continue singing songs that are written by somebody else.

It was nice to see some of the older artists go down in flames when they weren't good. Except for Danny Saucedo's horrid "In The Club", most bad songs didn't make it forward in the game despite the fact that it was performed by a "beloved" and popular Swedish artist; a lot of Swedes tend to vote for artists based on prior merits, not what they're actually using to compete. Or just because that artist is old in the game, i.e. Anna Book (who, thankfully, will not compete this year).

Dilba's "Try Again" faced three problems: 1) the song isn't good or even memorable, 2) Dilba has no stage persona and 3) who stole the choreography from Daft Punk's "Around The World"?

The opposite of her being Rasmus Viberg's crappy "Social Butterfly", where the singer paired latin rhythms with looking like Karlsson på taket. He tried too hard, even though his lame pelvic thrusts probably rewarded none bar the blind.

Who made Danny Saucedo's jacket? It's as though Michael Jackson's worst moments in dress met up with any fan of Bon Jovi and meshed. As if the song wasn't enough. I wish RedOne had been in on that and made it a lot better. But then again, you can only lacquer a turd.

It's too bad that Le Kid's "Oh My God" didn't make it on. They had humor and could in my eyes gladly have replaced "In The Club". On another note, they made me miss the old Pipettes.

The second competition takes place on Saturday, and among others Brolle and Babsan will be partaking. Oh, Christer Björkman, so much to answer for... More laughs will come. And another song called "Oh My God". Plus a former Idol-contestant.

I may sound as though Melodifestivalen is just gripes, but it's more than that. Should be much more than that, but it simply isn't as good this time as it has been in the past - and I am referring to the time when Kristian Luuk/Björn Gustafsson ruled the school, which is the last time it was really good. I'm just hoping for some great songs. Here's to future glamour and more chutzpah!