Yesterday I received a little package with a little machine in it! Finally, my triumphant, colossal win in the shape of a little amplifier with a chip in it, allowing helpdesk personnel to chill out to either one of two sounds. Yes, there is a volume knob to twiddle. Here's how it works:

No, I haven't wrecked the speaker by pushing the volume to the max, it's actually distorted from the get-go, hence not really delivering that Brian Eno/Harold Budd/Aphex Twin experience of ambient bliss that I was hoping for. Instead, it's a bit more Alec Empire.

Still, kudos to Zendesk for the gizmo!