The new pope, Joseph "God's rottweiler" Ratzinger, once was a Hitler youth. So what the hell? It's not as if he could have said no to being a Hitler youth, really, keeping his life intact.

Nice to see the new pope's a young guy. Only 78 years in the making! Let's just hope he gets rid of the two old cloths that'll just stain his otherwise spotless profession: orthodox christianity and catholicism. Yep, just kidding. No, really not. Oh yes, I was kidding. Naah, I'm truthful and cynical.

...I'm kidding!

No, I'm not.