If the above picture could stand up, find somebody with skin darker than the background of the sign in that picture, and/or somebody who speaks a different language than English, and start to piss on that person, well, then that would be the perfect allegory for this film, named "American Sniper"; and oh, almost forgot: then the picture would sniper-kill said person in the face.

OK, seriously though, if that picture could do all that, and avoid explaining why somebody who lives in Iraq, who's been fucked by the US government (and other so-called "allies") to no end, would attack US troops other than for being a complete barbarian Just Because That Person Isn't American, that would be close to a complete and truthful allegory.

This film fails on all levels; I'm not exaggerating.

The film is about a very "successful" sniper, i.e. a person who's killed a lot of non-Americans, and his awful day-to-day business, i.e. killing people. Don't get me wrong! The film doesn't deal with any problems such as "why does he kill any of those people to begin with?" or "why doesn't the film at least try to make sense of why the US invaded Iraq to begin with, and merely accepts the premise that going into war is a-OK, and why don't any of the negative aspects of war really come up in any way, apart from some placid and simplistic view of what could be described as PTSD at one point during the entire movie (amidst all the killings of Iraqis)? Could it be because the US loved Saddam until he started working against the US?". It's all gung ho and shooting, jingoism and actually just accepting, from the get-go, that killing people is a-okay, American Pie and The American Dream: shoot a guy, get paid. "I'm backing my guys". Mm-hm. Tell that to the child you just murdered.

Non-Americans just shout and carry projectiles everywhere - until they're killed by The Reliable Sniper - and they're dirty and there sure are a lot of them, won't they just stop coming? No, so let's go ahead killing them some more. Sha-la-laah. There's no chuckle? No joke? Oh-kay, let's kill them some more. Sha-la-laah.

While watching the film, in my head, I heard Bill Hicks saying this:

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." How do you know that? "Uh, well...we looked at the receipts."

There is nothing good about this film. Nothing. It's all woo-waa-kill-wee-go-propaganda until you puke. Not much PTSD. No real remorse. This film makes "Platoon" look very scary and possibly made up; I mean, bad guys can't win right? Oh, and don't question what makes a bad guy bad. Or is it all black or white, really? Argh. Shoot me. I'm almost praying for the sniper to come and take me out from the misery that this clownboat film created for me. I know, I know - I should maybe not have seen it, so consider this an opportunity to vent.

See "Bitter Lake", not that it has to do with Iraq, but it translates well into what "American Sniper" is about, even though there are some massive differences: "Bitter Lake" will treat you, the viewer, as a thinking person, and not a slack-jawed idiot who's ready to eat anything and accept everything. Just think: in "American Sniper", what really differentiates the murder of a child in the beginning, from the sniper not being able to murder another child later on? Sense? GOD? Evil-doers who've done the sniper's head in? You shall never know, but know this: if you don't like this film, you're being un-American.

Bonus: every woman in the film is basically a prop. Well, women and non-American white males alike. Are you surprised? All of that, the misogyny and xenophobia is straight outta Bush; yes, both the first and the second installments.

At least Oscar should go to Sienna Miller for this film, as she made herself look completely different; that way, somebody may view her with respect in the future. Bradley Cooper should also receive some awards for oozing to the top of the Hollywood cream of the moment, despite being unable to act. I remember Dennis Pennis, who quickly interviewed Hugh Grant at one point, who said "I found your acting a little bit woody. When you made your appearence in the film 'Sirens', I thought someone threw a chair into the room." Cooper is far worse. And Clint Eastwood. Don't get me started on his woodenness. ((Is that a word?)) This film is directed by a person who should stop. Doesn't someone in the high Hollywood echelons have the power to descend upon Eastwood and take back this film and leave it on the cutting-room floor, entirely? Well, if only capitalism didn't reign--oh, hang on! D'ya think that's why this film doesn't contain any form of critical thinking at all? Y'know, what schools ought to be teachin' us? Naw. Instead, it's all a man and a gun. And we're supposed to swallow it. Fuck you, Clint, and all of this muck that you rode in on, in the name of Murica.