One day last week I went out for lunch. I chose my food, and tried to pay for it.

I was told that my credit card was denied. "Say what?" Then I remembered.

I'd received an SMS earlier in the day, from "Your Bank", which definitely read like some type of scam, but in it there was a phone number and a name to a person who said he wanted me to call him.

At this point I did call that number, still a tad suspicious. The person who had signed the SMS replied and told me that his company had "recorded a suspicious transaction" to a "charity organisation" that morning and decided to react.

I asked for how much money that forbidden transaction was, and he replied with the exact amount I'd paid for a subscription to The Paris Review that very morning. And it has nothing to do with charity, except that the magazine accepts donations. "You've not paid them before." - Yes, I know; and this applies to most online stores on Earth and beyond.

I asked if the interruption of that transaction had any relevance as to my credit card having been frozen.

"Oh yes, that's on me. We didn't want to risk anybody stealing your money." he said.

I understood, and oh, could he possibly unfreeze it so that I could have lunch? Yes, he could. Jolly good. The whole thing felt a bit too Big Brother for me, but still, it was easily fixed, but I couldn't help but think what would have happened if I'd not had access to a mobile phone, or even worse, if I'd not received the SMS.

Two days ago, X and I went shopping The 25th of every month is usually pay-day in Sweden, so off we went! Earlier that day I had used my credit card to get money from a cash telling machine, which worked.

Guess what didn't work as I was about to pay for our first purchase during the to-be lovin' shopping extravaganza?

Sales-person: "Um, the machine says your account has been blocked."

Embarrassment followed.

Having tried again with the same result - with X's cash money bailing me out while I was still blocked - I called the number I'd previously used for "My Bank".

Mind you, at this time I had not been contacted in any way as last week.

The person who replied when I called this time let me know that there'd been a surge of credit card number scams that day and that mine was included. He told me that he couldn't lift the credit card fatwa, that it had been permanently blocked and added that I'd have to wait to receive a new card in the mail which was "sent today and will arrive tomorrow or the day after".

...arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggh!

Yesterday I'd received a letter from the bank, with no credit card but instead a note saying "you're fucked and we enjoy toying with your material life and by the way, please come and visit one of our 1.5 Stockholm bank offices which all close at 2pm if you want to extract money, at which point you will have to dance to get money". It almost read like that. Promise.

What the letter did actually say, was that I will be left hanging for another 4-5 days, until the new credit card arrives. And by the way, could the mailperson simply not steal the card and take the cash? Don't tell Swedbank or "My Bank"!!

Thanks to X, I now have cash.

But in the meantime, Swedbank, here's a couple of songs for you.

Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell by The Stooges on Grooveshark

No Sympathy by Super Furry Animals on Grooveshark