Yeay! Kolmården is a Swedish zoo, in fact the biggest in Scandinavia, and I haven't been there since I was a little boy; that time I dropped my pacifier into the wolves' den and told my mother to go get. Not this time. I hoped.

X and I left Stockholm on Friday evening and quickly jumped on a train towards Katrineholm, where we played mahjong, avoided Harry's on arrival at K-holm and then were picked up by Ullis and went to Björnkärr, where Ullis and Tomas live. They're building a guest house at breakneck speed:

Ullis rolled up on us with a few soft cheeses and crackers and we didn't say no; ate that, chilled out and watched "Mr. Nice", a film about Howard Marks starring Rhys Ifans. That was good, even though it wasn't brilliant: a very straightforward film on a Welsh guy who turned drug-dealing baron and then - of course - met justice. And injustice. Anyway, we went to bed quite early.

As we woke up and got ready Ullis picked up Tyra, X's little cousin and we got out. Rain poured down but that wasn't killing our good mood!

Once we turned up and saw the big entrance, we know that we'd have a day filled with activities. Kolmården is huge, and no matter that I barely remembered it when I was little, it takes hours to walk through it all and you can add a few hours to those if you plan to do stuff there, and you will, especially when you're armed with a child.

Tyra's quite easily maintained. Being a non-parent I'm happy about that. Sure, Blixa can be a real noisy, messy child at times but you can beat her complacent she's no runaround human child that can get on my nerves like nothing else! Nah, Tyra was really funny to walk around with! She did a dance to and fro that reminded me of Monty Python's Mr. Gumby-routine...and I laughed my head off.

As we started walking through the rain - most of us we were wearing rain ponchos, X rocked an umbrella - the sun came out and poured for the rest of the day. The animals came out, wee! We had ourselves a massive walkaround.

This animal reminded me of the polar-bears we'd seen at Berlin zoo earlier this year; it walked back and forward all the time, kicking its hooves into the steel bars. It seemed really stressed, or maybe it just had something at the other side of the bars like a MAC-10 so it could get out despite a lot of free space; it had a miniature savannah to run around in, but didn't.

On the other hand, a lot of other incarcerated animals seemed to be thriving! And I really loved 'em.

Of course, walking around massive scenery, having a calm, really fun time took its toll so we sat down next to the "apeinarium" and watched our not-so-distant relatives pee into the air and play around while we had some sugar and coffee.

Just sitting on the bleachers getting warm and dry from the sun while watching apes. I can't tell you how great it felt. No work, just a really lovely time. Sitting next to X. I loved life. Still do. :-)

Now, the Kolmården Android app lied to us and said the dolphin show was up but it wasn't so we left for a seal show instead!

If you know me, you know I love seals. I've done so for a long time and I've no idea why. I don't know much about them, really - somehow all that knowledge about animals relates to cats and penguins (!) somehow, and I collate much irrelevant info about those types of animals, but nothing about seals. Do they have bones in their bodies? No idea. I won't look it up, either; they're just graceful little beings with their big bodies.

While the above pirate jumped made noise and commanded her two landlubber minions to command the seals (lowest in line...) they obliged, playing dead, rolling over and making loads of kids guffaw, they learned a bunch of good stuff as well, for example how important it is to recycle garbage so that it doesn't end up in the sea and kill a seal or ten; this was showcased by throwing in a plastic receptacle to which one of the showy seals keeled over and received mouth-to-mouth and CPR from a landlubber. It was all fun and quite a short show. Really nice.

Following the show, we went to see the dolphin show.

I've gotta say the queuing at Kolmården was about the least painful I've ever experienced: everything went fast, was painless and well directed by the staff. Top marks! And by the way, what's better than being in the sun with people you love?

The show was well-rehearsed and really fun for all. X and Tyra loved it, Ullis and Tomas as well. Sweeeeet!

Following the show, we went to Safari, which is actually a cable-cart ride lasting almost 30 minutes throughout the park! Brilliant! Back in the day you had to take the tour in a car of your own and then you'd get really close, but this is better - for the incarcerated animals, who don't have to deal with having to breathe and eat gasoline and toxins all day because of it. Electricity-propelled stuff I love.

Upon entering the place, which looked just as technicolor as the above pic shows, I spotted a Swedish dude who stood whistling at the top of his lungs, over and over again. Dunno why, but he was striking:

On the way in, met somebody I kind of recognised:

We jumped into a cart and started rolling upwards.

As you can see, the view was potent. You could see everywhere towering appx. 30 meters above the ground. Not for the faint at heart! And yes, animals were included:

No, that ostrich was not dead. Or, if it were, somebody'd better explain how X witnessed it pooping as we passed over it...

Some of the views were almost unreal in how they played out; I mean, catching bears playing in glistening water? Never thought I'd see the day. Big brown bears playing, that must mean the lions must be really...

...really lively dead! They are cats, of course. Why move when you can just lie and play dead? Of course. Still, they're cats. I wish we'd moved low enough so that I could have gotten hold of their paws and danced with them (preferably before they'd pawed me to death).

Yup, the view was breathtaking.

OK, the only thing that wasn't nam-nam (as in "good") was a restaurant called "Nham-Nham", where the staff didn't care at all, where the food wasn't all that and...it could have been so much better with just a little loove. Too bad.

We walked further into the compound and found a few other luxurious animals, e.g. a tiger that was somehow surrounded by abandoned Russian (!) stuff, e.g. a Moscow-Vladivostok bus:

I also saw a few live capybaras! I never thought I'd see one live but we did. Like big hamsters with blunt noses, they waddled slowly around their set.

Now, one of the best parts was yet to come... A kids' petting zoo! Of course X and I entered and petted the li'l animals.

There were goats, pigs and hens walking around with kids walking after them and the whole thing was just too cute. I just loved snapping pics of X and Tyra petting all the animals, and after Tyra tired X and I just walked around petting all.

While petting a couple of goats I suddenly felt something hard against one of my legs and found myself in the middle of a goat fight! Two young 'uns started warring with me in the middle. I moved to the side but they went after, as though I were a middle-man who had to be in the entire thing. Hell to the no! I skipped out of there and watched them butt heads. I was glad that I'd just ended up there in the beginning.

We walked around some more, had some ice-cream and coffee, went to see X and Tyra meet Bamse - where I failed miserably at photographing X with Bamse, a fact that will follow me for a long time - and photographed them on a ride. It was hilarious. They were on the spinning cups ride and Tyra wanted staff to spin their cup faster and faster. It was so fun to see her and X just having a great time.

En route towards the exit we saw wolves and Ullis was fixed, as she loves 'em. We hung around some and then got some merch, then rode homewards to Tyra's parents who dished out some great dessert (third time that day, yikes) and then went home by train. Were home quite late and even tried to see the premiere episode of "Jersey Shore" season 4 (they're in Italy now) but almost fell asleep while doing it, so...today is today.

And it's pouring outdoors! I'm wondering whether to stay at home or be a little live today and visit Drop Coffee and pick up some coffee while X's working. Anyway, shower's calling, ciao!