This call is courtesy of a very fast-talking user, one who prefers to have the microphone very close to the mouth. Just imagine every physical sound a mouth can make, all too clearly, while reading his lines, and you'll be close to what really happened.

Niklas: IT Department, this is Niklas speaking. X: Hey! This is User X! From Place Y! N: Hello there, X! Glad to hear from you. How are you? X: There's a user who's trying to use Google Earth, and a window pops up, and he can't use it. N: Let me see if I've got this straight: there's a user at Place Y who wants Google Earth, but the program doesn't work. Is this correct? X: And, and, the computer stops! N: X, is the program not working? X: Yes! I mean, no! N: Let me see if I've got this straight: there's a user at Place Y who wants Google Earth, but the program doesn't work. Is this correct? X: Right you are, ha! N: OK, but-- X: The user is using the program for 15 or 14 minutes, and then this message pops up. Hello? N: Hell-- X: Right, I just wanted to make sure you were still there. And the message pops up and doesn't work. N: Oh. I was-- X: And you know what? N: Sorry, no, what? X: The message pops up, and in it, there's text.

At this point, I shut up (as the user is continually interrupting me). Five seconds later:

X: The text reads something like "You have to be super in order to use this program" and the user's not super.

At this point, I try to contain myself. I decide to apply Cesar's method. Calm and submissive.

N: I'm sorry, but are you really saying that the program needs administrator rights to be installed? X: The computer doesn't work. N: Let me see if I've got this straight: there's a user at Place Y who wants Google Earth, but the program doesn't work. Is this correct? X: Yes, Google Earth. N: Does the application stop working after a while? X: The window pops up and-- N: I'm sorry for interrupting you, but I must ask: does Google Earth stop working after a while? X: No, but-- N: Does the program work? X: But the--

Show that you're the boss.

N: Sorry, X - does the program work? X: I...I...I don't know. Does he have to be super for the program to work? N: Let's churn this out: you're now saying the program might be working. Would you mind checking whether it works or not? Don't care about any messages that pop up; just check if the program works and then get back to me, OK?

There's nothing but silence.

N: Hello? X: Yes! Yes! Yes! I will check that out! Thank you! But is the message anything I should care about?

Bite, but not using canines.

N: As I said, don't bother with the message. Just check whether the program works or not, OK? X: OK, OK, OK. N: Brilliant. We'll be in touch later, then? X: Yeah! Yeah! I'll tell you what happens. So, what do I do now?

Inside myself, I start hearing the keyboard solo from "A Glow" while imagining a submarine, delving toward the deepest, darkest regions of the Mariana Trench. I repeat the task to the user.

X: Right, right. Thanks! I'll be in touch with you. N: Great! Thanks a lot for your help. X: Don't mention it, bye! N: Good-bye. X: Oh! Just one more question! N: Sure! X: What's super? N: ...sorry? X: What's super? N: I...I wonder if you mean "administrator" instead of "super". X: I don't know, do I? N: Well...I guess you don't. X: Hahaha! I don't! Bye, again! N: Good-bye!

After hanging up, I did some breathing-exercises and continued with my day.